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My approach is not to apologise or make excuses for my size, just "I am what I am".
Not sure of your size, but I weigh 90kg, and I saw a stylist for advice on dressing for my shape.
I feel a lot more confident when I am looking my best and that definitely helps while on a date! It's not the time to be thinking about online dating. This is the last thing you need to be thinking about. Focus on you and building your self esteem up based purely on you.
Have you considered speed dating as an alternative to online dating? OG, I'd see a counsellor about your feelings around being fat. I've read three threads now this week, started by you, focussed on 'fat'.
Honestly, online dating is incredibly appearance focused.
A large majority of men won't even consider dating someone bigger than 'average' or many won't even consider someone of average size (according to their profile data). OG seems very self-aware and reflective, so I am sure she has considered this.
Yet, my best friend is what you can call "chubby" and she is in a very happy relationship with an attractive, decent man. No matter your size, shape or look it's a numbers game.I've not really 'dated' as such (the couple or three formal 'dates' I've been on in my life were pretty tragic! I've been separated for almost 18 months, haven't dated in over 15 years and the thought of putting my 40 something self out there terrifies me. I think confidence counts for more than your age or size. He is smart, funny, 6'4" and looks like a 1940s film star.) - but I've done lots of activities, joined clubs, been involved in sport and so on. He doesn't have a 'fat fetish' he just liked me - individually - as a human. When you've regrouped and got your headspace together again you'll know how to 'get out there'.I had a friend of mine try and she is heavier and had success.
The guys loved her but she wasn't into them in the end. In my group of friends, there is 5 of us trying online dating. I am overweight and I am having more success with meeting men and getting second dates than the slim girls.
You will meet people wether you are overweight or not.