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This guide may not help you find your Swedish Valentine, but it might just shed some light on the tantalizing mystery known as the strong, silent Nordic type.
I know that it will seem ungrateful to be accusing my host country of being a nation of stingy alcoholics, and I'll be the first to admit that a few drinks can be a fantastic social lubricant. D) If you're lucky, you are sober enough to save the other person's telephone number in your mobile, AND to put it under the correct name.
It's probably also a case of “it's not the Swedes, it's me,” but Swedish mating and dating rituals (and usually in that order) appear to be a very slow process that go nowhere (except the bedroom) fast. E) Send a text message along the lines of "last night was nice. " F) Spend hours analyzing the various ways in which aforementioned text message could be misinterpreted. G) Have a "fika." *(see below for an explanation of this uniquely Swedish institution) *A "fika" is a Swedish word for an ambiguous meeting that may or may not be a date, or better explained as a non-date, or a date that is pretending-not-to-be-a-date.
A WORD OF WARNING: It is not assumed here that the guy will take the lead. If the Swedish guy is brave enough open his mouth and say something at all during this date, he may feel that it is now the girl's turn to put herself out on a limb. N) Sometime after several more renditions of Steps B and C, go out to dinner.
J) Spend many more hours analyzing your feeble attempts at text message"flirting," agonizing over whether you should or should not use the word "mysig" (cozy) or "trevlig" (nice), fearing the former may be too much, and the latter may not be enough. O) Since it's a little harder to pretend you are not on a real date in the formal atmosphere of a restaurant, drink massive amounts of the house wine.
With one of the highest birth rates in Europe, the Swedes seem to be pretty prolific when it comes to making babies, but even after six plus years of living in Stockholm, I'm still not sure how Swedish relationships actually happen.