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15-Jul-2017 03:59

Amsterdam’s notoriously naughty Red Light District has three infamous venues for live sex shows: the Moulin Rouge, the Banana Bar, and Casa Rosso.

All three are located about 100 feet from each other on the impossible-to-pronounce Oudezijds Achterburgwal street in the heart of De Wallen (RLD’s actual name).

Located at the back of the Rijksmuseum on Museumplein, the large I amsterdam slogan quickly became a city icon and a much sought-after photo opportunity.

Visitors photograph themselves, in, around and on top of the slogan, and it always manages to inspire the novice photographer.

Although we came in as a party of four, the group discounts only work for crowds of 10 or more, effectively making them the most sought-after victims to be pulled up to maximize embarrassment amongst your friends or loved ones. When an act needs a volunteer*, the performer will come down on stage and guide them up.

One of us had good karma coming or went to church recently because we were followed by a group of Americans who looked to be on some sort of family retreat. These acts usually occur between the intercourse performances (which unfortunately aren’t always as impressively acrobatic as I’d hope they’d be) and are intended to be humorous.

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We soon realized that clutching each other in fear and humiliation only made us more attractive fodder, and our salvation was in the family that would be right at home on a TLC reality show.

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