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That’s something you have a right to protect yourself against. Then mention to her that, at the same time you don’t want to receive info about her past life from outsiders and look like a fool.
Whenever I ask her anything about this she gives vague replies, urging me to move on and look at the future instead of the past.
But to outsiders, you must put up a joint front – you must look like one inseparable unit.
Hence you need to know at least what others know – i.e. Believe me Anon, you do not need to know any more than this to ward off well-meaning hints and suggestions from outsiders.
This disturbed me deeply and we’ve had innumerable discussions about this since then. Recently others in the family eavesdropped on us and unfortunately managed to listen in on some of our private conversations regarding this issue, i.e. This was deeply humiliating and painful for both of us.
At a very early stage I’d started suspecting that my wife had had sex before marriage.
Incidentally, one of her friends visited us and hinted that my wife is “not as simple as she pretends to be”. That kind of probing is guaranteed to make any relationship worse.